Mine goes to eleven.

ear english readers, Google has a new tool that translates web sites and blogs in a blink of an eye. “Wow, this will really widen my horizons,” I thought. “This is perfect, from now on, language won’t be a barrier, and I’ll be able to read blogs from all over the world.” Then it dawned on me that it also works in reverse: people from around the world can also read my blog. “This is a fantastic gadget!” I thought in starry-eyed exaltation. I decided to test it on my own blog. Guess what happened?

I didn’t understand a word. Not a single sentence made sense to me.

y blog name “Mine goes to eleven” suddenly became “Mine goes to the student”. Why? Because Google translate word for word only. Google didn’t recognize that the name was in english to start with. On top of that it wrongly assumed that the word “eleven” was the swedish word for “student”, which it wasn’t. I was flabbergasted. Google didn’t notice that the sentence was in english and that it emanates from a well-known phrase in the film Spinal Tap.

Thank you very much, Google. You make my blog look ridiculous. I’m fully aware that my english is far from perfect, but your translations are nothing but gibberish. Here are a few examples:

I wrote something in swedish similar to “but a question remained unanswered”. Google translated this to “but a question lingo”. Lingo?

A simple sentence like “I spotted a small painting at my girlfriend’s house”, Google quickly desiphered as “the home of girlfriend and had vision of a small sign.”

“I was handed one of his books and was swept off my feet” became “I was one of his books in hand and fell right away.”

nd to make things worse, Google doesn’t seem to recognize english words when they appear in a swedish context. “this really rocks” was decoded to “coats it a lot.” I found no consolation in the fact that the swedish “rock” means “coat” in english.

I don’t take it too seriously though – I blog just to let off some steam – but what about brands? Does this mean that you can’t write a brand blog in fear of appearing like an idiot? As you see, this is not about minor details like sentence structure or tonality. It’s more like dressing up for a nice dinner and suddenly, boom, materialize as a street bum!

I can’t wait to see how this story unfolds.

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